Self Love in the Season of Love: In Conversation with Maya Francis

I hope you all enjoyed listening to my conversation with Maya as much as I loved having it! Our conversation serendipitously aligned with Valentine’s Day, and while I never imagined Cohere or Making Meaning diving into topics like romance, I’m so glad the conversation took Maya and I down this road. In my personal current stage of life, all of my peers are on different paths, especially when it comes to romance and family, so the question of building a life with a partner feels especially poignant. But even further, our society places so much emphasis on romance at any point in our lives, and self worth can be affected drastically by our romantic relationships, or lack thereof. Cohere was built to help all of us, in any stage of life, continue our self growth and find deeper meaning in the everyday, and it would be a crime to ignore the power that romance wields in our society and so many people’s life paths. Of course, not everyone feels a need to pursue romance as a part of their journey, but the culture most of us have been raised in extends a large amount of meaning to our romantic “achievement.” 

As we are getting closer to Valentine’s Day, an excellent example of how powerful romance is in our society, we can see the array of different opinions on the holiday and its worth. Of course you have those that love Valentine’s Day and want to celebrate with their significant others, and those on the opposite end of the spectrum that hate the holiday and what it stands for. But further, you have people who use the holiday to encourage self love, familial love, love among friends, and we even see galentine’s day and other traditions forming around love outside of traditional romance and celebrations. This Valentine’s season, instead of falling into whichever of the categories that you personally align with, try thinking a bit more intentionally about your relationship with the holiday. Why have you developed whatever opinion you have about the holiday? How can you find something to make Valentine’s Day more meaningful? This can come from the way our family discussed Valentine’s Day or romance growing up, the friends we’ve surrounded ourselves with, or positive or negative memories we have associated with the holiday. Whether you are celebrating in a traditional way, or want to protest the holiday, try to do so with intention instead of just going through the typical motions.

So many of our typical traditions and rituals that our society routinely participates in are built up until they become a source of stress. Zooming out from the minutiae of the celebrations can help each of us enjoy the holiday in a broader sense. In this way, Valentine’s Day, or any holiday, can become a way to remind ourselves of traditions that may be important to you, and serve as a moment to redefine the meaning of the holiday for yourself. Engaging with holidays in this way can make them more personally enjoyable, meaningful, and help you feel aligned with what you find important in the holiday. If, after exploring what the holiday means to you, you end up not celebrating Valentine’s Day, that’s alright! You are still engaging with the culture in a way that is the most meaningful to you.

After Maya and I had our conversation, I was reminded of how rewarding vulnerable conversations like this can be. I always enjoy carving out space to have deeper conversation with my friends, but getting to dive into some topics that Maya and I normally wouldn’t discuss was so rewarding and I truly believe brought us closer together as friends. Vulnerability allowed Maya and I to learn more about each other, but it also created an exchange of energy that allows both of us to feel safe showing up authentically. When we show up in an authentic way to have real conversations, our friendship can grow in an authentic way as well. 

Later on in our conversation, Maya and I discussed how it’s possible to use difficult experiences, including romantic situations, to grow in our self confidence as opposed to letting it weigh on us. Maya explained how a few moments in her life that could have crushed her actually became some of the greatest sources of self confidence. In facing adversity, there is no success or failure, there is only gaining experience. On the other end of any difficult experience, we will always find that we still survive, we still exist, we still carry on. Adversity, and uncertainty about the future, is a prerequisite for living, but choosing to embrace this instead of fearing the unknown can help us find joy in the journey as we continue to grow in all of our relationships - with others and with ourselves. 

I hope you all are thinking a bit more about embracing uncertainty and how you will be celebrating love tomorrow! Maya is such a beautiful example of owning self love and facing life with humor, and I hope you can all learn something from her perspective on life! If you want more content, subscribe to Making Meaning on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and subscribe to the blog so you never miss a post! If you want to join the conversation, follow us on Instagram @thecoherecollective and leave a comment sharing your thoughts on this episode. If you want more of Maya, follow her on Instagram @mayafranciss.

Until next time, so much love!

XX

Reese, Founder

The Cohere Collective