From Silence to Strength: Reclaiming Your Story Through Strength, Healing, and Faith with Shara Goswick

Reese Brown (00:00.376)

Well, Shara, thank you so very much for being here with me today, for so generously sharing your time with me. I'm really excited to be chatting.

Shara Goswick (00:08.245)

Yeah, I'll do that too. Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

Shara Goswick (00:23.525)

Well, thank you so much for having me. I had so much fun talking to you before, and so I've been looking forward to this.

Reese Brown (00:29.942)

Yes, me too. I did as well. It's like we were saying before we clicked record. It's always so funny to flip the script and be on the other side of the microphone. So it was a pleasure to be interviewed by you and I'm excited to return the favor. Yeah. Well, my first question that I always ask to hopefully just set a positive tone for our conversation is what is one thing you're grateful for?

Shara Goswick (00:37.776)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (00:46.765)

Yeah, me too. I'm excited to talk to you.

Shara Goswick (00:58.457)

gosh, just one. know, gratitude is something that's very important to me. And so I try to wake up and just start thanking God for things. I mean, everything I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for our home. I'm thankful for this property that we have. have lots of land and thankful for my family. My daughter and my grandkids are coming to spend the night this week. And I'm thankful for a lot of things, lots of things.

Reese Brown (01:01.048)

Just one.

Reese Brown (01:20.43)

yeah, that's wonderful. You know, I've been thinking a lot about gratitude this week too, specifically, because I think like a gratitude practice and writing down things that we're grateful for has become very common and popular to suggest in like the wellness and self care spaces, which is beautiful. But I was watching something where

I think it was a psychologist. I'm forgetting exactly what I was watching, but they were talking about how a lot of people feel like they force themselves into gratitude practices that it can come from, like if we grew up in a family where it was, you know, I don't like this food for dinner. And then you have the parent that says, well, there's a child in Africa who'd be very grateful for that food. You should be grateful.

Shara Goswick (01:55.962)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (02:11.225)

Right.

Reese Brown (02:14.818)

you can have kind of an opposition to gratitude practices. And so I just found that really interesting and the tip that they offered to counteract that was to write down why, like I am grateful for X because, and that makes me feel blank. And I found that the makes me feel was really, really powerful for me because it's like, yeah.

Shara Goswick (02:32.409)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (02:35.778)

yeah.

Shara Goswick (02:40.561)

sure.

Reese Brown (02:42.966)

I am really grateful for this, not just because it's a thing that I should be grateful for, but because it makes me feel connected or supported, loved, you know, all that good stuff. So a little bit of a tangent to begin with, but something I've been thinking about. My second question, yeah, yeah. My second question to just open up our conversation hopefully is what is your story?

Shara Goswick (02:47.984)

Right.

Shara Goswick (02:59.407)

Yeah, that's awesome.

Reese Brown (03:10.806)

I know that that is a big question, but whatever you feel called to speak to in this moment is perfect.

Shara Goswick (03:10.976)

gosh.

Shara Goswick (03:19.419)

I'm glad you're recording a long time because it could take a while. Well, you know, I, gosh, how do I even begin telling my story? I will kind of start from now and go backwards if that, I don't know if that will make any sense at all, but you know, I started my podcast a few years ago, started for fun.

Reese Brown (03:23.445)

Yep, exactly, exactly.

Reese Brown (03:37.666)

That's perfect!

Shara Goswick (03:44.123)

I love talking to people. love meeting new people. like asking questions like you, you know, where are you from? What did we're, what are you doing? Why are you doing that? I love all of that, just like you. And had I tried to start something that like, wouldn't have even begun to try to start something like that, maybe five or 10 years before I have spent many years of my adult life going to counseling and doing things to get

healed from some trauma from my childhood. It was something that wasn't talked about, wasn't thought about on purpose. It was always in the back of my head. But I was married and had kids before I was ever forced to begin dealing with that. The biggest impact that that had on me was it silenced me. I felt like I didn't have a voice. What I said didn't matter. Nobody wanted to hear what I had to say. It just wasn't important.

And so I spent most of my life just not sharing my thoughts or not, you know, telling people what I really thought or, having an opinion because it just didn't matter. felt like, so for me to have a podcast and to be, I just looked it up because I'm next week is my three year anniversary. So I'm looking up some information to share on Monday and I interviewed 97 people, I think in the past year. And for me to be able to do that.

Reese Brown (05:08.62)

That's remarkable.

Shara Goswick (05:09.497)

Isn't that crazy? It's crazy. I know I'm not patting myself on the back, but I'm just astonished. Well, I'm amazed when I look at all the things that people are doing that I was able to talk to you and ask questions about. To me, it's a miracle because I couldn't have done that had I stayed hurt and angry and, you know, ashamed because of

Reese Brown (05:15.264)

You should, and you are more than allowed to.

Reese Brown (05:25.377)

Hmm.

Shara Goswick (05:35.065)

All that trauma had I not gotten healed and walked through all of that, I would not be able to do what I'm doing right now. I've been married for longer than you've been alive. I'm sure I've been married for 33 years. I have three grandchildren, two grandchildren. that in itself is, you know, a story because I had my daughter in high school. I was a senior in high school when I had her and we were married. 1992 was a big year for us. We had her in January.

Reese Brown (05:41.56)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (06:03.077)

graduated high school in May, got married in June and started college and life in August. So haven't really stopped since then, but I'm very thankful. Not a path I would ever encourage anybody to take, but man, I'm thankful that we were, you we had supportive families. We were able to walk through that. My daughter's like one of my best friends now. And so I can't possibly imagine doing this life with her, you know, without her in it. So.

Reese Brown (06:06.892)

Wow.

Shara Goswick (06:31.907)

I've got lots of stories, but you know, coming from a broken, just a broken person to wanting to get healed and wanting to get rid of all that shame and hurt. And it, takes, it's a lot of work to do that. And I don't say that about me, anybody that, that wants to deal with that. It's hard. It's not fun. And,

Reese Brown (06:34.101)

Yeah, no that's-

Reese Brown (06:48.91)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (06:56.451)

So I'm, I'm very thankful where I am today because I do feel like I have my voice. I do feel like I'm able to speak and share. when my, we first were married, you know, we were teenagers and my husband would get frustrated because I wouldn't tell him when I was really thinking and I would, you know, it was hard. Now he says, I think you're getting a little too big for your britches. Like, well, that's okay. So anyway, that's a good portion of my story.

Reese Brown (07:22.892)

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, absolutely. What, to speak to this healing journey that you've really been on, and I mean, so many important points that I want to return to, of course, but to start with the decision to go to counseling, to choose to go on a healing journey, because I think

A lot of, most of us, I don't want to say all because, you know, there's probably one human out there who didn't have a single ounce of childhood trauma. Like, I want to believe that it's possible, but most of us, there you go. But most of us, even with beautiful, amazing, loving parents, make it out of childhood with, you know, internalized patterns and cycles that

Shara Goswick (07:58.703)

Right. I married one. I'm telling you. It is possible.

Reese Brown (08:17.194)

we need to heal from and deal with. What was the push that really allowed you to decide, I'm going to reclaim my voice, I'm going to do this work and I want to do that enough that like you said, it's hard, it's a hard journey to go on and it requires a lot of grief, a lot of confronting yourself very honestly. What

pushed you to choose that path, that journey.

Shara Goswick (08:47.501)

The very beginning, I will tell you how it all started. It wasn't that I was thinking I want to get past this. It was I was kind of forced to do it. So I'll be very vulnerable.

I was abused by someone, extended member of my family. I may ask you to take that out. I don't know, but that's what happened. It was ignored. It just was swept under the rug. think, you know, my parents loved me and still love me to this day, but I think they didn't know how to handle it. And so it was easier to not deal with it than have to deal with it. I was, I was in my twenties. I was married and had kids in my twenties.

Reese Brown (09:10.754)

That's okay, yeah.

Shara Goswick (09:32.839)

And I hadn't told my husband about any of it because you know, as they ignored it, I ignored it. I tried to pretend like it never happened. Well, we ran into that person again. I saw him and it triggered just everything, the thoughts and the memories and all the things. And so, we had been at church, my husband had been in church and I don't even remember what the message was about, but the title of it, because I started sobbing after he said the title of the message was it's not your fault.

Reese Brown (09:40.045)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (10:02.939)

And then I just cried through the entire, I couldn't tell you anything he said. And we were sitting with some friends. Um, I was sitting next to a friend and she was sitting next to her husband. And the whole time I'm sobbing, my husband's just looking at me like, what is wrong with you? know, and she went and got me some, actually, I think her husband went and got me some Kleenexes because literally I cried through the whole, the whole thing. Well, she knew even though I didn't tell her, she knew because she had lived that herself.

So later that week, she reached out to me and she said, look, I know what's going on. I know what happened. And she said, I walked that same road. And if you're interested, she said, someone bought me this book and she walked through it with me to begin healing. And she said, if you're interested, I will do that with you. So that was the very beginning. And, from then on, really the reason I continued to seek healing was because it affected me in a very big way.

It affected my personality. affected the way I thought it affected my marriage. It affected the way I parented. mean, it affected everything and it had been repressed for so many years that it was just, things were just coming out. know, my marriage was probably the biggest part of my marriage and my parenting were probably the biggest reasons. And it wasn't that I was saying, I'm going to go get healed and fixed. I'm, you know, I just, it was making life hard.

Reese Brown (11:08.898)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (11:29.645)

not dealing with the effects of it. And so it was a slow journey. I mean, it took decades and it wasn't that everything just happened at once. It was a gradual gradual thing. I think the year before I started my podcast was probably one of the biggest, maybe two years before the biggest, like, I don't know the most profound healing that I had. I was in a few different classes and then I, that's when I spent the time with my life coach.

for six months. And so those were probably where I made the most progress. And you know, my life coach was a, don't know if I told you this when I talked to you before, but she was a writing coach and I had done a little bit of writing. And so that's what I wanted to do was writing. So we didn't talk about writing. She was a life coach, but a writing coach. didn't talk about writing, but she was helping me with things that were going to help me with my, writing. You know what I mean? She was helping me with my.

Reese Brown (12:00.023)

Mm.

Reese Brown (12:26.796)

Right.

Shara Goswick (12:27.533)

And my thoughts and my things that were going to help. But by the end of the six months, I wanted to do a podcast. I didn't even want to do writing. So, you know, it, it worked, it helped whatever she was doing totally helped. And so I'm thankful. I'm not thankful for that journey. don't, I wish I didn't have to go through that. wish no one would ever have to go through that, but I'm thankful for the opportunities that I've had to find healing.

Reese Brown (12:48.236)

Of course.

Shara Goswick (12:55.363)

And I would encourage anybody that's listening, it's not fun to have to face that kind of stuff. It's not, it's in fact, it's really, really hard, but it's so worth it. It's so worth it.

Reese Brown (13:09.422)

Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing that with me. I so deeply appreciate that. I hear you in the sense that like it is not fun. is oftentimes one of the biggest critiques I hear about therapy and counseling. And I think there's something to say for it is that it can re-traumatize people when you re-confront

the initial trauma because you've built up all of these defense mechanisms to protect your unconscious and your heart from the the deep hurt and betrayal that came and to have to look at it again can be super retraumatizing but you know I just want to ask what makes it so worth it? I think it's easy

It would be easy for me to assume like, yes, it's worth it because like you said, you have your voice and there's a sense of freedom there, but I would love to hear that in your own words. What does the worth it really feel like for you?

Shara Goswick (14:21.391)

Well, for me, you know, we talked about this in the other interview. I am a Christian and I believe in God, I have a relationship with the Lord. And for me, I finally felt like I could be who I was created to be. I wasn't trying to be something that I thought everybody else wanted me to be. I stopped trying to people please and trying to make sure everybody was happy because that was an effect of the trauma to make sure everybody was okay.

Reese Brown (14:35.022)

Hmm.

Reese Brown (14:48.717)

Right?

Shara Goswick (14:50.777)

I stopped doing that, but now I finally feel like I can be who I was created to be to begin with. And you know, there's a lot of reasons I'm sad that I had to go through that. My marriage suffered a lot for a lot of years. And that's one thing I'm sad about is my dear husband has been, I've always said he has the patience of job and he had to have it to be married to me because he is the most patient person on the planet. And you know, it wasn't fun. It wasn't easy for a long time for us.

Reese Brown (15:01.142)

Of course.

Shara Goswick (15:19.993)

And so I'm thankful that now it is now it's good. Now, you know, I know who I am and I'm able to speak up when I need to speak up. And he appreciates that, you know.

Reese Brown (15:31.427)

Right, and that's a healthy relationship is to want that from your partner and to appreciate when you have that, that it is a partnership in that way. I think that's so beautiful. To speak to your faith a little bit, I so deeply appreciate your commitment. Was Christianity the religion you were raised with? have you ever had a journey of

Shara Goswick (15:32.089)

Yeah. Yeah.

Shara Goswick (15:55.067)

Mm-hmm.

Reese Brown (16:00.271)

turning away coming back because I do want to ask if having this experience problematized any of that faith for you. I know we hear stories of, you know, parents who lose kids and that's the thing that there's no explanation for something like this. What was that journey like in reckoning with this horrible, horrible thing that no one deserves while still grappling with your faith?

Shara Goswick (16:14.03)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (16:29.911)

It didn't, I didn't ever turn away from the Lord. I don't understand. I don't understand why it had to happen. I don't understand why a lot of things happen in this life, except that we live in a fallen world and where people are, you know, professional mistake makers. We, you know what I mean? Everybody's going to mess up and it's some, consequences are worse than others. Some mistakes are worse than others, but we just live in a messed up world.

I never turned away from my faith.

Shara Goswick (17:05.731)

I like I said, I don't understand why it had to happen, but I know that God has been with me the whole way. And I believe, I believe when you make the commitment to choose Jesus to be the Lord of your life, which is what I have done with anybody does that if you truly have a relationship with him, it's hard for me to understand why you would want to turn away. I get being angry. I get like if something happened to one of my kids,

Reese Brown (17:13.122)

Mmm.

Shara Goswick (17:34.509)

I hope that I wouldn't turn away, but I get it. get being that devastated and hurt. I totally understand. But this, as far as this in my life, this did not make me turn away. This through the healing process made me, think, lean more on the Lord because I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it by myself. I'm not strong enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm just not capable. I mean, really. So it didn't for me. It didn't for me.

Reese Brown (17:38.136)

Sure.

Reese Brown (17:54.766)

Hmm.

Reese Brown (18:03.458)

Wow, that's really remarkable. And I think, you know, even if it does shake someone's faith and they come back or, you know, it sends them on a different path, I think that everyone certainly has their own journey with their faith. But that level of commitment is certainly nothing to shake a stick at, right? And I think everyone deserves to have that sense of security and safety in their life that it...

sounds like your relationship with your Lord really does provide for you. And I love what you said about being able to be who you were created to be. Who do you think you were created to be? When you think of that and this one thing I've really been on lately, because in spiritual communities, people will talk about their higher selves and their highest and best self. And I'm a little...

For lack of a better term fed up with the hierarchy of that because like you said we all make mistakes We were all gonna mess up to me It's not about the highest being the best at anything because you can't so instead of your higher self I've been on Telling people I believe in your whole ourselves. So all of that to say to you Who is this whole or share up that you were created to be?

Shara Goswick (19:30.511)

Well, you know, obviously we've just covered this, but obviously my relationship with the Lord is the most important. But in that, as he, you know, I felt like I have been healed. I'm able to be a better mom. I'm able to be a better wife for sure. I'm able to be a wonderful grandmother. That is my favorite role of all the things that I do. You know, my, my gifts, one of my gifts is hospitality and serving. I love having people in our home and feeding them. I love.

Reese Brown (19:43.662)

Mm.

Shara Goswick (19:59.525)

cooking and baking and, in our church, you know, I just, love, I love helping. love serving and that, that is a big part of who I was created to be. I love talking to people. love, you know, learning about people and the podcast gives me a place to do that. It makes it, just an easy way to, to meet some incredible people. I mean, that's, that's a lot of who I am. I, yeah, I hope that answered your question.

Reese Brown (20:22.36)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (20:27.424)

No, I love that. Absolutely. And it sounds like the crux of a lot of those things are connection, right? Even whether it be your church community, family, friends, like, it really is about sharing space and sharing energy with these people in your life. And I think that that is something that I am just continually reminded of in my journey and my work is that

even though we do need to be alone to do a lot of this healing work and introspection is so important, but our connection is what colors life. And so to have those gifts, I think is really, really special and important. Why, in the very beginning, you also mentioned that you have this innate curiosity about people and you want to know about them and understand them. And I think that very nicely ties into this connection piece.

Shara Goswick (21:01.147)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (21:20.724)

Why do you think it is that you have that curiosity when you meet someone? What is that spark? You... yeah.

Shara Goswick (21:27.321)

I've, mean, even as a kid, I just have always loved meeting new people. don't know what it is. I just, I love learning about, maybe it's, you know, one of our greatest needs I think is to feel seen and heard. And maybe because I felt that for so long, I wanted that for myself. Maybe I project that, you know, wanting somebody else to feel seen and heard. You know what I mean? I don't know. I just have, even as a kid, I've just always loved meeting new people.

Reese Brown (21:42.412)

Mm.

Reese Brown (21:52.813)

Absolutely.

Shara Goswick (21:56.997)

Where are you from and what do you do and why are you here and how did you get here? And I just love people's stories. just do.

Reese Brown (22:04.076)

Yeah, I think that that's so beautiful. just having that curiosity, keeps life interesting too. It keeps life fun to be able to always have something to ask. So one thing that that raises for me in this, like, there is just this thing that's always been with me, right? And I think all of us have a piece of ourselves that it feels like has just always been there. And of course,

different people based on their theology, their worldviews, we'll call it different things, soul, mind, personality, self, you know.

Do you believe in that eternal piece of the self? And if so, how do you conceptualize of that? Because I think one of the things that complicates that for me is how much we grow too, right? The fact that I am so completely different than I'm.

I had a birthday a few weeks ago and I was just reflecting on like the last year and I'm like, holy cow, like the amount that you can change in just one year. And yet there is still this piece of me that I do feel is eternal and wholer than myself. How I am sure it ties back to your faith as well, but I'd love to hear about how you describe that and couch that and feel about that, especially since, you know,

Shara Goswick (23:11.288)

haha

Shara Goswick (23:15.621)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (23:34.85)

There's no two ways to be a Christian as well, right? Everyone has their own unique relationship to that.

Shara Goswick (23:41.019)

I don't know if I fully understand your question.

Reese Brown (23:44.951)

Yeah, so if there is a, do you believe in a soul, something that is more innate to us? And if so, how do you define soul?

Shara Goswick (24:03.491)

I do believe everybody has a soul and I believe as a Christian, know, our souls matter when we leave the earth. I believe that it matters. If you choose Jesus, if you accept Him as your Lord and Savior, I believe the Bible. I'm not listening to a church. I'm not listening to a teacher. I believe the Bible. The Bible says if you choose Jesus, when you leave this earth, you will spend eternity in heaven. It's not about...

The bad things that you've done are not going to send you to hell. Not choosing Jesus is going to send you to hell. That is my personal belief. So I do believe I have a soul and I wanted to kind of go back to something I said earlier talking. You were talking about my faith. You know, yes, my faith didn't waiver throughout all this healing, but I'm not perfect. I mean, I, along the road, I've made a lot of mistakes. So it's not like I'm this super, you know, always happy. Everything's always good. That's not, that's not the story.

Reese Brown (24:42.872)

Yeah, please.

Reese Brown (24:51.896)

course.

Shara Goswick (25:00.911)

The story is that I never believed that I wasn't loved by God or that He ignored me, you know, when I went through all of that or that He didn't care. I didn't believe any of that. I was a messed up woman for a long time. I made a lot of mistakes and I just, I just want to clarify that because I don't want anybody thinking that, well yeah, she's super faith. That's not the case at all.

Reese Brown (25:24.141)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (25:28.666)

Of course. Well, I do, I thank you for underlining that. And I do think that it's important to, you know, hold that honesty with which, did I just lose you for a second? Can you hear me?

Shara Goswick (25:42.459)

Yeah, I, you're back now. Okay. Sorry.

Reese Brown (25:46.541)

Okay, perfect. No, no, no, not at all. Yeah, no, thank you for highlighting that. I think that it is important to hold the complexity with that, you can, like you said, you can be really angry and frustrated and confused and not have answers, but still, like that is the very definition of faith, right? It's like belief without seeing, without knowing.

Shara Goswick (26:03.871)

yeah.

Shara Goswick (26:10.469)

Right. Sure.

Reese Brown (26:15.34)

And I think that's super powerful. In this process of healing, I think there's something so poetic about the piece of your story that is about your voice, right? And of course, there's so many different ways to engage with our voice, writing being one of those ways, but of course,

Shara Goswick (26:34.093)

Right.

Reese Brown (26:37.29)

the podcast, like it's like the medium of the voice. And so having found that as this kind of pinnacle of a lot of your, your work, think is really, really beautiful in this poetic sense. Talk to me a little bit more about the journey to finding your voice. Do you think that, do you think there was a moment where you felt like you lost your voice and you needed to get back to it?

Shara Goswick (26:37.847)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Reese Brown (27:04.558)

Or is it something that you had always been searching for and found?

Shara Goswick (27:11.203)

I think it was something that I didn't even think about for a long time, for decades of my life, because I was so used to not using my voice, not telling people what I thought or asking questions or, you know, sharing my opinion or whatever it was. I think I just lived like that for so long that, as I began getting healed, as I began going to counseling and taking classes and

Reese Brown (27:16.59)

Mmm.

Shara Goswick (27:40.405)

Stepping out and sharing my opinion, sharing my voice, sharing my thoughts. and I realized people didn't look at me and think of, think about me the way that I thought they did. I'm not stupid. I, you know, I do have good opinions and good thoughts. And, my dad always said growing up that everybody has an opinion and, no, everybody's a, what does he say? Shoot. You'll have to edit this.

Reese Brown (28:06.968)

That's okay.

Shara Goswick (28:08.758)

Opinions are like armpits. Everybody has them and they all stink. you know what mean? Opinion doesn't matter what my opinions are, but even sharing, even sharing. And here's a typical situation that would come up for a long time. And maybe you or anybody else has been through this where someone would ask me to do something that I didn't want to do, whether it was helping or serving or do whatever it was. And I didn't agree with it I didn't want to do it, but I'd do it anyway, because I didn't want to say no, but the entire time I'd be resenting them.

Reese Brown (28:13.262)

There you go.

Shara Goswick (28:38.489)

And it was really my fault for not saying, not being honest and not being real, you know, that was something that happened a lot. And when you learned, you know, part of it is healing. Part of it is my age. I think once you hit 50, you just don't care. And so that's, that's been a big part of it too, is I just don't care. don't care if, and I don't purposely want to hurt anybody or offend anybody, but I don't care. I'm going to say.

Reese Brown (29:03.415)

Of course.

Shara Goswick (29:07.321)

What I think now in, and that's okay. That's, I would rather be honest and be real and be kind about it than keep my opinions to myself and you know, be met, be angry inside because I'm not saying anything. Yeah.

Reese Brown (29:19.764)

Yeah, absolutely. One thing that I've been really working through in my own work is this people pleasing and how people pleasing actually is an act of manipulation and coming to terms with the fact that it's something that I was trying to do to earn love, acceptance, attention, safety, know, name anything that a human being wants or needs.

But even though I had good motivations and I thought that it made me a good kind person, the manipulation piece was in wanting to control how that person felt about me. I wanted to manipulate them into liking me and control that as opposed to letting go and letting them make up their own mind about me. And then exactly like you said, how you start building this resentment.

Shara Goswick (30:00.464)

Right.

Shara Goswick (30:10.235)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (30:16.142)

I would hold on to for so long this feeling of like, well, no one really understands me. No one really sees me. No one loves me for me. And there was a moment with my therapist a few years ago and she was like, Reese, I hear you and it is painful to not feel understood and loved for who you are. But in order to be loved for who you are, you have to show up as who you are.

Shara Goswick (30:42.757)

Right, right.

Reese Brown (30:44.544)

Otherwise you're never gonna feel understood. And I was just kind of sat there like...

Shara Goswick (30:47.771)

That's so good.

Reese Brown (30:52.202)

You're right, you know, like, and that's, and of course in session, I'm like tears and then like we work through it, but I absolutely resonate with that story. And I think that a piece for me that just is so powerful about the voice that you're talking about is that feeling of like, yes, I am doing this for me, but it actually is allowing you to better help and serve other people too.

Shara Goswick (30:57.007)

Right.

Shara Goswick (31:01.038)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (31:16.623)

Yeah, absolutely. That's so good. What she sent to you, you have to show up as your true self. And that's scary sometimes. It's scary a lot of times, but it's important. Yeah.

Reese Brown (31:28.372)

Yeah, absolutely. I want to ask you about your family as well. So you mentioned you had your first daughter, your first child in high school. What was that experience like? I imagine it came with some judgment from peers and family and I don't want to presume to know anything about your family of origin, but

I can imagine how difficult that would be to be in that situation and the amount of like self judgment that could come in there too when exactly like you said, you're just trying your best. So talk to me about that journey.

Shara Goswick (31:59.493)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (32:09.903)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (32:13.217)

I would not recommend it for anyone. it was very difficult and, thinking about my childhood, one of the things, one of the effects of that trauma was being able to compartmentalize and, disassociate. And so, you know, I got a lot of looks, you know, I was, I mean, I went to high school, I went to school the day she was born. So I, you know, walked through the halls.

Reese Brown (32:41.144)

Wow.

Shara Goswick (32:41.379)

Yeah, with a very pregnant belly and lots of looks, lots of little comments. And, it was not fun. It was not fun. I will tell you that, but I'm very thankful that I did it. I'm thankful that I carried through with it. we had very supportive families, which I don't, we couldn't have done it had we not, they were both very, and I'm so thankful for that. Cause that's not always the case. So, you know,

And you know, we jumped into real life really quick. It wasn't that they did everything for us. We had to, we didn't have to get, we chose to get married, but we had to do all the, all the adult things that, my, our friends were off going to college and anyway, I'm going to leave that part out. but we had to do all the adult things, you know, when we, people our age were doing, having fun and doing all that other stuff. And it was hard. It was very hard.

But, you know, there, there are benefits to having kids very young. And I, like I said, I wouldn't recommend that at all, but you know, we're very young grandparents. Our kids are all grown. We get to, even though we still feel old, we get to, you know, have fun. have energy and we get to go watch them play sports and do fun things. And, that is one benefit of it. But yeah, it was a hard road. It was a hard road.

Reese Brown (33:48.525)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (34:02.22)

Yeah, my, absolutely. My dad's mom had him very young and that was something that was always really special about our relationship was that she very much was present and was able to be there for so many things. And yeah, it's such a special relationship to have that, but also to speak about grandparents, like your daughter's grandparents having two supportive families. I know even for

me and my brother because both of my dad, both my dad's, both of my parents were working, my mom and my dad were working. And so we needed after school care and we were lucky enough for that to be family instead of, you know, a babysitter or daycare, which are completely valid and beautiful options. But I do think that there's something really unique and special about being able to spend that time with grandparents and

wanting you mentioned y'all did still go to college and so being in college while also raising a child is no small feat and so I would have to imagine that really does come with reliance on on y'all's family and I bet that that also even though it is a different relationship than some kids have with their grandparents I would have to imagine of course correct me if I'm wrong but that your kiddos probably are very close with their grandparents

Shara Goswick (35:28.431)

They are there, you know, we've lived away for most of their lives. So it hasn't been, you know, they, I lived two blocks from my grandmother growing up. So I was very, very close to my grandmother. spent much of my childhood with her and, I was the first grandchild and I was the only granddaughter for many years. So I was the favorite. I'll just, I'll just say that I was the favorite. Yeah. But we saw her two weeks before she passed away, which was 10 years ago.

Reese Brown (35:49.934)

I'll own it.

Shara Goswick (35:57.219)

She was in rehab hospital and we went to visit her and I could hear her talking down the hall as I was walking. So I went in her room and she said, look, it's my, my oldest and most important grandchild. I was like, can I record that? Like to have it to play for everybody else? Cause that was awesome. yeah, that was a very special relationship with me and I, you know, my kids are closer with their grandparents. We just, they just didn't see them all the time because we were a good five, six hours away and.

Reese Brown (36:11.436)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (36:22.958)

sure.

Shara Goswick (36:25.727)

I, my husband finished his bachelor's degree when we graduated from high school. I stopped after two years because I had another baby. And then we moved. he was, he was a physical therapist and so we moved away so he could go to PT school. And when we moved away, they were seven, five, and three, and we didn't have family with us. That was hard. That was definitely the three, three of the hardest years of our marriage for sure.

Reese Brown (36:45.196)

Wow.

Yeah.

Reese Brown (36:54.382)

Sure.

Shara Goswick (36:54.595)

Because, know, I didn't have a degree. couldn't have gone to work and made any money that would have covered daycare for three kids, you know? so it was pointless for me to try to work. Yeah. It's, wasn't worth it. Yeah.

Reese Brown (37:04.194)

Right. The cost, right, the cost benefit analysis, you staying home to exactly to take care of them makes more sense than going to work just to put that money in to take care.

Shara Goswick (37:14.523)

Sure. Yeah. So we had, he couldn't work cause he was in school all day, every day, you know, five days a week. And so we lived off of school loans for two and a half years. Took a long time to pay those off. I'll say that, but we did it. Um, and for us, it was an investment because he was, we knew he'd have a great job. It was for our family and for our future. And so it made sense, you know, to do that. But you know, you talked about relying on family and they did help us, you know,

Reese Brown (37:31.16)

There you go.

Reese Brown (37:40.162)

Mm-hmm.

Shara Goswick (37:44.709)

They would come and visit. They, one of my favorite things is my husband's mom or my husband's mom would mail us like socks and underwear for the kids when they were little. And that was like gold. mean, it was so nice, know, such a sweet present to have in the mail, but you know, stuff like that. They, helped us out and were there for sure for us, you know, and, but, you know, as far as being very present in our town, we didn't, we didn't have any family. Yeah.

Reese Brown (38:00.547)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (38:14.062)

Sure. Well, in having the split experience of feeling very supported, but also having physical distance, right? That's the reality of lot of people's families. And you can still feel deeply emotionally connected with someone, but there are just certain things that being in the same city and space with someone that it offers a difference. It's different to be

Shara Goswick (38:21.626)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (38:25.595)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (38:43.02)

being able to, you know, an emergency happens, can you come pick me up? It's like, tomorrow, maybe. Yeah, it's right. It's totally different. So I wanna hear more and forgive me if I'm just being nosy, but I also, one thing that I just kind of have a pet fascination with is

Shara Goswick (38:46.779)

Right. Right. Right. Yeah. It'll be a while before I can get there. Yeah.

Reese Brown (39:11.456)

like long-term marriages. My parents have been married for 33 years. And yes, so when you said that, when you said that, I was like, my goodness, that's how long my parents have been married. And in my generation, like all of my friends in my friend group, it is very much like pretty much split down the middle, whether parents are divorced or still together.

Shara Goswick (39:17.337)

well, see I'm probably your mom page.

Yeah. Yeah.

Reese Brown (39:38.797)

And if they're divorced, some are remarried, some are not, you know, or some have long-term partners, but didn't get remarried. And being a witness to my parents' marriage and how much both of them have changed over the years. And also as I've gotten older and have been able to have more adult conversations with them about the challenges of that and why they made certain decisions. It's just fascinating to me.

the motivations that different people have behind marriage, but also behind staying or leaving. And I would just love to hear more about you and your husband's choice to get married, because like you said, you chose that. It wasn't as though anyone forced you into that decision just because you had a child. So what motivated that? And through all of these

Shara Goswick (40:25.444)

Right.

Reese Brown (40:37.836)

you know, difficult moments, but it seems like still exciting that, you know, you chose to have a second kid pretty quickly. it, it, fair enough, fair enough. But yes, I would love to, to hear more about that journey and y'all's relationship, because even speaking to you in your personal life earlier, you said your husband is the patients of Joe, but I would imagine it's also deeply

Shara Goswick (40:45.083)

Well, I know that we chose to have a second pretty quickly.

Shara Goswick (41:03.877)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (41:07.298)

deeply difficult to witness your life partner and the person you love most in the world going through and processing and healing from what you went through and having that healing journey. So yeah, I would just love to hear more about y'all's relationship and what that journey has been like.

Shara Goswick (41:25.019)

You know, he is my best friend. When you talk about your person, your ride or die, your, know, he, he just is. And I think, I mean, I do love him and we, we have so much fun together, but I think we've also grown up together. You know, we were teenagers when we got together and getting married. Did I know what love really meant at 17? Did I understand what marriage was going to be? No, I did not. But you know, here was this guy that I loved and I liked being with him and

Reese Brown (41:40.718)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (41:53.849)

you know, eventually we were going to get married. I'm sure we had a baby together. Like, why would I not? Like it didn't make sense for me not to, I wanted to be with him. Has it been easy? No, it hasn't. But you know, I don't know any marriage that's been easy. If there is one, please come tell me how you do it because it's two different people living in a house together. Like he and I are completely opposites. mean, completely opposites. We were talking yesterday about how we went.

Reese Brown (42:08.749)

rate.

Shara Goswick (42:22.433)

watch our granddaughter play volleyball the other day and I was driving and I, he would say I have directional dyslexia because I will get lost. Like I always have at least one GPS on if not two, like I just, and he doesn't ever get lost. And he was talking about how we were driving. I don't even remember this, but he said we drove through a parking lot. We were trying to get to a store down the road and we were trying to do it without getting back on the highway. And I drove through

Reese Brown (42:36.162)

That's me too.

Shara Goswick (42:52.547)

Apparently the longest route that there was. And he said, I didn't say anything. I just kept my mouth shut. And I was like, but we got there. Didn't we? Like, does it matter how fast does it matter? Yeah, we arrived. what's, but that we're just different. think differently. We process differently. He has a completely different past than I do. I mean, completely different. And he has been very patient with me. And I mean, I just felt like I was a mess for a long time.

Reese Brown (43:02.04)

We're safe and we're here.

Reese Brown (43:07.714)

Mm-hmm.

Shara Goswick (43:20.965)

But he loved me through it. you know, I think his relationship with the Lord was very, it had to be pretty strong and he had to rely on him too, because I don't know that I would have wanted to stay married to me. I just was a mess and I was a very hurt and broken young woman. But he's my best friend. He makes me laugh every single day, every single day. You know, we have coffee together in the morning, every morning, and we pray and we just talk about the week or the day or whatever.

is going on. You know, we support one another. I think we make a great team. I want to help him. I try to make his life as easy as possible for him to get ready for work and head off the door so he doesn't have to think about his lunch or you know, whatever it's already done for him. So he doesn't have to think about it. He's got enough to think about as he leaves to go to work. Um, he helps me when I need help with things. There was a time when I, um, had a bakery, I had a bakery for about a year.

Was so fun. Yeah. I loved it. It was so fun, but he had to kind of pick up some slack at home because I was exhausted every day from, you know, what I was doing. you know, I felt like we make a great team. I, I just, I love him. I love being with him and, it's not perfect. It's not always, you know, picture perfect, but he's my person. He's he is my person.

Reese Brown (44:20.955)

wow!

Reese Brown (44:28.311)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (44:42.732)

Yeah, I love that. One thing I was talking about on another podcast conversation I was having was the definition of love, actually. And I think that my friend that I was talking to about it, he said, you know, the more I think about it, the more I think it's like the Supreme Court definition of the...

what is like profanity or pornography where it's like, you know it when you see it. You can't really define it though. And there's something very much like that about love where it's like, you know it when you feel it, how do you really categorize it? And the thing that I came to was that love is the thing that is both inevitable and out of your control. Like you can't really choose you love, but it is also a choice every day.

Shara Goswick (45:13.851)

Right.

Shara Goswick (45:38.297)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (45:39.863)

And that is something that I feel like I have really seen in my parents is that they choose each other every day. But also I have seen how inevitable it is that they love each other, that they can't choose not to either. Do you have a working definition of love? And.

Shara Goswick (45:45.925)

Sure.

Reese Brown (46:03.902)

you know, you jokingly said earlier, what's the secret to the happy marriage, easy marriage, but what what would you what would your pet advice be for someone else, especially like high school sweethearts out there? That's that's a rare thing, too.

Shara Goswick (46:07.653)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (46:19.447)

It is. I definitely think love is a choice because I do have those warm fuzzy feelings about my husband. do, you know, enjoy being with him. But sometimes he makes me crazy. mean, let's get real. And I'm, I know I do the same. Like I just told you, me taking the longest route that drives him nuts, but I choose to love him. And I don't, it's not hard for me to do that, but I choose to do it every day. And he does the same thing.

I don't know. You know, I think getting married early for me, I think it probably saved me from a lot of heartache. just because of the broken person that I was when I got married. I think it probably saved me from a lot. I don't know. It's hard because I don't recommend anybody getting married immediately after high school. I don't think it's wise. It works sometimes, but I don't think it's the smartest thing. I mean, I think.

The best advice I could give to any young woman for sure. Make sure, make sure you're good. Make sure your heart's good. Make sure, you know, I wish that I had done all this healing work before I had gotten married because I think it would have changed a lot in my marriage. But like I said, I hadn't even confronted any of it before. I mean, it was years after we were married before I did. that's one thing I wish I could have done differently. And that's one advice I would piece of advice I would give to any young woman.

Reese Brown (47:39.363)

Right.

Shara Goswick (47:48.473)

Make sure you're good. Make sure you know who you are and, your heart's good. You're not holding on to hurt or anger, anything and fix all that. Do what you can to work on that before you jump in. Cause, cause marriage is not just moving in with your boyfriend. It's, it's a commitment. It's a covenant and it's a big deal. And so I wish I had been able to do all that before we got married. think it would have made things a lot easier.

Reese Brown (48:14.829)

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. And that makes me think of, my mom had a few pieces of advice for me when I was younger and like pre-college and all of that good stuff. But one of the things that she told me was, absolutely, you are not looking for your other half. You are whole in and of yourself. And only when you feel that to be true and you have that love with yourself is when

Shara Goswick (48:36.186)

Right.

Reese Brown (48:46.188)

you will be able to build this partnership, like you were saying, being a good teammate. Yeah, so I think that's really, really important and something that, you know, it can help a lot to have someone else there supporting you during your healing and someone to love you when it feels like you can't love yourself. But there is certainly a spectrum of commitment, right? In this sense of like,

Shara Goswick (48:49.115)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (49:07.034)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (49:11.706)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (49:15.106)

You don't have to get married in order for someone to support you along your healing journey as well. There's a lot of ways to support one another without.

Shara Goswick (49:25.561)

Right, Yeah.

Reese Brown (49:25.976)

fully legally binding forever and ever. Yeah. I also want to ask you about being a grandmother. You said it's your favorite role. Talk to me about that.

Shara Goswick (49:38.221)

It is my favorite role. It is my favorite role. You know, my grandmother, and I hope I will not start crying. My grandmother was my favorite person in the whole world. I mean, she was everything. And she, I do not recall one time ever talking to her my entire life where she did not get so excited to see me like she hadn't seen me before. Like everything I did was special and every even as an adult, even as an adult, she treated me that way.

I used to, like I said, she's been gone for 10 years and, they haven't seen it lately, but like every time I'd go into Ulta, I would go find her perfume and spray it on a little thing, you know, because it smelled like her hugs and I miss her hugs. I, guess I always wanted, I never said this, but I think I've always wanted to have that kind of a relationship with my grandkids because it was so special to me in it. It honestly.

Reese Brown (50:17.582)

you

Reese Brown (50:30.145)

Of course.

Shara Goswick (50:33.953)

I think that's a big part of my healing journey is that I had her there for my whole childhood. I needed that. I needed that safe place. I get to do that with my grandkids and my grandkids have a completely different life than I ever did. Thank you, Lord. They are living the safest, most beautiful, wonderful home. I'm so proud of my daughter and her son-in-law because they are raising two amazing young women.

We just have fun. We just have fun. When they come, they come and stay with us about once a month. I try to say no as little as possible. Like whatever they want. I'm going to say yes to I buy all the snacks. I have all the food. have, you know, one time we were coming home and the younger one said, cause they're about an hour and 20 minutes from me. They're actually not far from me. the youngest one said, you know, I've always wanted to try a Fanta.

And she was like six or seven. You've always wanted to try Fanta. And she goes, yeah. And I said, well, then let's stop and get one. So we stopped at the store on the way. didn't like it at all. But anyway, we tried it, you we're just going to do it. Absolutely. So it's just fun. just, I just have fun. They have their own room here. We built a house five years ago and they have their own room and

Reese Brown (51:40.334)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (51:44.32)

you were like, you know what? That's something we could make happen pretty easily.

Shara Goswick (51:58.959)

We just, have fun. have pancakes for breakfast every time with lots of sprinkles. And I have a whole shelf in my pantry with snacks that, the baskets are always full of snacks before they come over and they know, they know that they are welcome to anything in this house. There's nothing off limits for them. And we just have fun. We just have fun. love, yeah, it's, it's a blast.

Reese Brown (52:14.424)

Mm-hmm.

Reese Brown (52:18.51)

That's so awesome.

My cheeks hurt from smiling because it reminds me of time with my grandparents. And I think there's something so, so special about, like you said, the safe space that your grandma provided you because of course your parents are your parents or whoever your key caretakers are, but they're also your key disciplinarians. And that creates, it is, and like you said, you don't

Shara Goswick (52:40.581)

Right. Sure.

Shara Goswick (52:46.105)

Yeah, it's different with grandparents.

Reese Brown (52:51.998)

have to say no, the same way that parents who are with them 24-7 are very much being mindful of boundaries and keeping them safe and how rules provide safety and not that there's no rules at grandma and grandpa's house, but it's a different type of allowance and safety and freedom that I think really is so special and

Shara Goswick (52:56.079)

Right.

Shara Goswick (53:02.703)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (53:14.095)

I'm sure.

Shara Goswick (53:18.587)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (53:20.458)

allows kids to really, really feel into being kids. And there's something so important about that play. And like you said, just being able to have fun. you know, who's to say if your granddaughter is going to remember the time that grandma stopped and bought her a Fanta to try, but that could be exactly. And it also could be like a memory that sticks with her forever. That is

Shara Goswick (53:29.595)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (53:35.289)

Right. But I will. Yeah.

Reese Brown (53:48.554)

even the littlest things were important to my grandma. I don't know if grandma is your grandma name or not, but.

Shara Goswick (53:51.995)

Yeah.

No, so they call me Aya. So my, have two nieces, I have three nieces, but the two of them, when they started talking, they couldn't say my name. And so they both called me Aya. Like that's just what they started calling me. And now obviously, even once they could say my name, they called me Aunt Shira. But I thought when I have grandkids one day, that is what I'm going to have them call me because nobody else has that name. And I didn't want one like everybody else. So that they call me Aya.

Reese Brown (53:58.303)

Aya?

Reese Brown (54:19.086)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (54:21.593)

Yeah, it's, you know, one of their favorite things. And I love this. My daughter's been so good about, they get to have their iPads once a week for like two hours. Like that's it. That's all they get. I will say that I do let them have them over here, but we, one of their favorite things to do is to go out cause we live on land, you know, they want to go out and get as muddy and dirty as they possibly can so that I can hose them down.

Reese Brown (54:22.081)

I love that.

Shara Goswick (54:48.047)

Like they think that's the funnest thing in the world. And I thought, this is awesome. Like kids everywhere should be doing this, you know? So we do, we get dirty, we go for walks, we go find, we had lots of baby frogs out here a while back, like in the spring, they go catch baby frogs. Like we just play. That's all we do is we just play. I love it.

Reese Brown (54:55.288)

Yep.

Reese Brown (55:08.206)

That's so beautiful and so important for you and your husband too to be able to reconnect with the play and have that reminder. Again, it's like it's the connection. It's the joy of life that's so, so precious. And I just, love hearing about that. I do want to pivot a little bit into some of my more

Shara Goswick (55:22.683)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (55:37.603)

Hard-hitting questions, not hard-hitting. of course, throughout our conversation, we've been talking around meaning and talking around purpose. And we haven't been using those words specifically, but I think anyone listening to the conversation can hear how your faith and your family and your story all colors that. But to talk about it a little bit more explicitly, for you,

Shara Goswick (55:38.276)

gosh, I'll try.

Reese Brown (56:07.06)

What is your relationship with the meaning of this life? And how have you especially now like, I don't want to say post healing journey, because I don't know if healing is something that ever ends. I think it's a continual process. But in this phase of your life, when you know, now you're actively pursuing a podcast where you talk to people about these things, too. What does meaning look like for you now? And

Shara Goswick (56:21.435)

Right. Right.

Reese Brown (56:36.519)

What do you feel like that purpose behind you being here truly is?

Shara Goswick (56:42.923)

know, I think everybody has a purpose. I really do. And they're all different. You know, they're specific to you. I think God created each one of us with something. For me, it is knowing the Lord is having that relationship with Him. But in that it is, like I said earlier, being a mom and a wife. And, you know, I think the podcast is part of it. But I think, you know, what if one day when I face God and I

All in this, or try to do all these things. And I wanted to do this well, and I wanted to do that well. What if he said, all I really wanted you to do was take care of your family. What if, what if that was my purpose? I want to do everything that's before me. Well, I want to do it. I want to be a great mom and my kids are all grown. You know, our youngest son lives with us and he is autistic. And I don't really, I mean, I still have to be a mom to him, but it's not like it was when they were all here and growing up. And so it's, you know, I'm not really

the kind of mom that I was before he's walking by. I want to be a great wife. You know, I want to be the best wife that I can be. And I spent a lot of years not doing that. So I want to do that. Well, now I want to be a great, don't know I'm going be a great grandmother, but I want to be a great Aya. I'm not ready for great grandkids, but you know what I mean? You know, I want to do whatever has been put before me. I want to do it. Well, I feel like that's my purpose is to.

Reese Brown (57:40.654)

Sure.

Reese Brown (57:58.231)

Yes.

Shara Goswick (58:06.721)

encourage others. And you know, the podcast is a very big part of that. get to it. Not everybody that I talk to is faith-based, but it doesn't matter. I still encourage them in their work, excuse me, in their work, because I feel like I'm, I'm very picky about who I talk to on my podcast. And I say no a lot more than I say yes. So if I have somebody on, I believe in what they're doing and I want to be able to encourage them in that, know, what an honor.

Reese Brown (58:32.61)

Mm-hmm.

Shara Goswick (58:36.293)

that I would get to talk to people and encourage them in what they're doing. You know, I think what you're doing is so important because like I said, you know, we all want to be seen and heard and you're giving people a place for that. Not just about their job, not just about their career or their nonprofit. You're giving people a place to share their heart and their thoughts and you know, what they believe in a safe way. Not everybody gets that. So like, you know, what you're doing is super important.

Reese Brown (58:48.728)

Mm-hmm.

Reese Brown (59:05.816)

Thank you.

Shara Goswick (59:06.118)

but yeah, I think, you know, our purpose, whatever the Lord puts before you, whatever job or career or opportunity he puts before you, he puts before me, I want to do it well. And it's going to look different for everybody. You know what I mean? We all have different journeys and walks. And, I like what you said earlier about the healing journey, not really being ever being over. I think you're right. I think it literally is a journey. Like it's.

Reese Brown (59:19.278)

Mm.

Reese Brown (59:31.458)

Right.

Shara Goswick (59:34.019)

something I'll be walking out for a long time. But that is my purpose, doing whatever's been put before me, doing it well. And that's my goal in this life.

Reese Brown (59:46.499)

I really love that because I think oftentimes we get so caught up with what the purpose is, right? And I need to find my purpose. And there's this one big thing that I've been sent here to do and I have to do it. And then one day I'll have done it and I will have achieved and like box checked done. And even as someone who...

Shara Goswick (59:59.877)

right.

Shara Goswick (01:00:09.147)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (01:00:12.92)

deals in purpose, like that is my bread and butter that I love talking about. I think we have just so lost the plot about that, that there's actually so much more about the journey, about the evolution. And your purpose is really more about this guiding inner compass that, you know, I kind of talk about it like almost like if you pluck a string on a heart.

Shara Goswick (01:00:14.191)

Right.

Reese Brown (01:00:41.324)

and there's something about the reverberation of that. When you hit true north on a compass, it's like you kind of feel that reverberation and you're always trying to go back to that. And it's that inner sense, but so many things could do that for so many different people and different experiences. So whatever it is that you land on that does resonate, to be able to do it well and to the best of your ability, I think is something that is really noble.

Shara Goswick (01:01:09.391)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (01:01:10.794)

especially because I often think about how like purpose is a privilege. Not everyone has the same access to have hobbies in their free time. Like free time is a privilege, having a hobby, not having to worry about living paycheck to paycheck and the next meal on the table. And so to reframe this about

Shara Goswick (01:01:19.311)

Right.

Reese Brown (01:01:36.075)

whatever is in front of you can be purposeful, I think is extremely powerful and something we all need to be mindful of. With these pieces that have been placed in front of you, do you, and this is more of just kind of a curiosity metaphysical question, do you feel like it is something that has always been destined for your path?

Shara Goswick (01:01:40.891)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (01:02:05.09)

Did you feel a calling to be a mother and a wife? Do you feel like that was always something meant for you or do you think the path was a bit more unfolding and now that you're here, it's doing it well? What's the, yeah.

Shara Goswick (01:02:21.889)

I think, no, I don't think I know. I always wanted to be a mom. I just, you know, I think I, had a lot of ideas about careers, what I wanted to do, but I always knew I would be a mom like that. That's just the, that's just what I wanted to do. So my daughter's name is Kylie. And when I was four, my mom had her third baby, my second brother, but he was supposed to be a girl. We thought he was going to be a girl because back then, back in the olden days,

Reese Brown (01:02:26.317)

Mm.

Shara Goswick (01:02:51.681)

they didn't do ultrasounds unless there was a problem. And so she knew that I was a girl. She knew the next one was a boy, which she was right. And then she just knew the third one was a girl. Well, it wasn't, it was a boy and he was going to be Kylie. So my dad, I remember this, my dad called me from the hospital. I was at my grandmother's house to tell me I had a brother and I hung up on him because I was so mad that he was a boy. Now I love my brother, but at the time I was unhappy. And so.

They bought me a little doll and I named her Kylie, a little baby. And so I, I just knew when I had a girl one day, I was, that's what I was going to name her was Kylie. You know, like I said, my, story's a little different. didn't, you know, I didn't plan on getting married and having a baby at 17, but I always wanted to be a mom in that besides being a grandmother, that's my other favorite role. I mean, it is, it is like you said, a privilege. is an honor to be able to do that. Motherhood parenthood is one of the hardest.

Reese Brown (01:03:34.638)

Sure.

Shara Goswick (01:03:49.403)

most rewarding things you can ever do. think, I mean, it really is. And you don't get it. I mean, you can see it from the outside, but you don't get it until you're there. It's the best. It's just the best. I have three amazing kids and you know, because of my daughter, I have my two granddaughters. So it's, it's awesome. It is awesome.

Reese Brown (01:04:11.148)

Yeah. What do you think that internal drive of that desire to be a mom came from? Because even from a young age, you still have baby dolls. It's like, of course, I think there's something to be said for the whole nature, nurture piece of it. But even at a young age, having that desire, do you have any thoughts on, you know?

Shara Goswick (01:04:20.368)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (01:04:35.823)

You know, I think I've always been a nurturer. I always want to take care of the people that are around me. you know, having a gift of hospitality, I love having people in my home, but I want to make sure they're fed well. I want to make sure they're comfortable, that there's places for everybody. And, you know, that's just, that's just me. That's, and I think that's just always been in me. I just, I'm a nurturer and I, I guess that's where it came from.

Reese Brown (01:04:39.212)

Mm.

Shara Goswick (01:05:06.019)

I don't know. That would be my guess.

Reese Brown (01:05:07.756)

Yeah, I think that's really beautiful. I love that you said comfortable and fed well. Like these are very just like comforting things. And I want to ask what's your favorite dish to cook?

Shara Goswick (01:05:20.411)

I don't know if I have a favorite dish to cook. talked about this last night because we had friends over and I made taco soup and she was like, I don't know why don't think about ever making this. And I said, well, I have all these meals in the back of my head that are good for a crowd. And that's one of them things that I can throw together quickly when I have lots of people that will feed, you know, plenty of people. So, I don't know if I have a favorite. just, I just love to cook and prepare and have people sitting around my table and eating and talking and.

Reese Brown (01:05:30.958)

Mm-hmm.

Reese Brown (01:05:40.941)

Mm-hmm.

Shara Goswick (01:05:49.85)

Whatever.

Reese Brown (01:05:51.575)

Yeah, you know, it's interesting. There's something I find myself saying quite a bit is sitting around a table with a good meal and laughing with my friends is church to me in so many ways, because that is like, just losing yourself in a laugh with your favorite people. Like there's something so deeply spiritual about that to me.

Shara Goswick (01:06:01.497)

Yes.

Reese Brown (01:06:17.356)

Talk to me about that relationship that you have with your faith and your spirituality. Of course, you mentioned that you do have a church family, a home church. But what are the surrounding practices that you do to really support that? Because of course, faith is so much more than just church on Sundays and Christmas and Easter. What does color in the rest of the picture for me?

Shara Goswick (01:06:38.554)

Right.

Shara Goswick (01:06:44.889)

Well, you know, when I say I have a relationship with the Lord, it's like a relationship with anybody else to have a relationship with someone. You spend time, you talk, you listen. and so every day, mostly every day, I have a devotional that I read. It's a, I, I love Joyce Meyers devotionals because they're short and to the point, but it's a lot of truth. mean, it's what you like. That's what I want from anybody. Tell me what I need to know, but do it quickly.

Reese Brown (01:07:08.098)

Mm-hmm.

Shara Goswick (01:07:14.203)

And so I learned better that way. So I have a Joyce Meyer devotional that I've gone through multiple years, but I love it. You know, I read my Bible every day because for me, that's where I get instruction. That's where I get to hear from the Lord. And I, like I said, I'm not smart enough to do this life thing by myself. I'm not, I'm not smart enough. I'm not creative enough to do what I'm doing on my own. And so I need direction. Yeah. That for me, that's where the direction comes from. It's praying, you know, I'm,

Reese Brown (01:07:14.956)

Yeah.

Reese Brown (01:07:38.124)

I mean, no one is, right?

Shara Goswick (01:07:45.081)

I think prayer is a gift that we have and I, you know, pray every day for my family and different things. But I also started several years ago, I started these prayer journals. So when somebody, I have them for all my children and grandchildren and everybody, but when somebody that in my life was going through something hard, I would start a prayer journal for them. So then I would just write out my prayers. So now I have a ton, they're not all full, but you know, when I want to pray for somebody, that's what I'll do. I'll get it out and just, you know, write out a prayer.

Prayer's a big part of my life because I think it's important. So yeah, those are my practices.

Reese Brown (01:08:21.804)

Yeah, that's beautiful. I really love thinking about prayer as a communion. Of course, it's not what you think of in the traditional church sense of communion, but when I think of like the etymology of the word communion to commune with someone, to be in space, in presence with them, that is the heart of relationship, exactly like you're talking about. is...

you know, whether it's a conversation or not, you're sitting in that energy with one another. And I think that that is something that is so important for anyone, even for people who may not have a higher power to sit in presence and commune with themselves. I think that there's, I read something the other day that was talking about how there's prayer, meditation, and

journeying are like three aspects of a Venn diagram of like communion with higher power and that, you know, there's like shamanic journeying, Eastern meditation, and then a more Western style of prayer. But there's something very specific that even though they all are different and have their own twist on the relationship with the divine, there's something that they all share that is this.

connection to something bigger than ourselves. I love that. I think, you know, whoever's listening, regardless of your relationship with a higher power, prayer is powerful. It's really, really powerful. And even as someone who doesn't consider myself a Christian, I pray every day too. You know, it's like, it's just a beautiful, beautiful practice. Well, this has been...

a lovely, lovely, expansive and vulnerable conversation. Thank you for sharing so much about your story and being willing to share that not only with me, but with the collective. I deeply appreciate that.

Shara Goswick (01:10:26.757)

Thank you so much for having me. You know, this is a safe space and, I thank you for being patient and listening to all of it and, for allowing me to, you know, I feel like we go through hard things. No, I don't think we go through them to help other people, but I think that when we do go through hard things, when we come out on the other side, still standing and still, you know, able to move and function.

I think it's a waste when we don't offer to help other people. So maybe my story will be encouraging to somebody.

Reese Brown (01:10:58.858)

Absolutely, absolutely. love that. My final two questions that I always like to add just to round out all of the beautiful things that we've talked about. One, is there anything that you would like to add to go back to to clarify to underline or anything that we didn't touch on that you're like, you know, I really would like to throw this in there too.

Shara Goswick (01:11:25.035)

I don't even remember everything we talked about because we talked about a lot. I don't think so. You know, I just think anybody that's out there that is living in shame or, know, they know there are things that they need to, to walk through to get healed from their childhood, from their past. Don't be afraid to do it. Find a safe place. Find somebody that's going to listen and truly help, but go for it because you're missing out.

Reese Brown (01:11:28.11)

Yes, we have.

Shara Goswick (01:11:54.287)

You're missing out on life and people are missing out on you. You know, there's, there's just so many reasons to work through that and keep going and don't get to the end of your life and then regret not dealing with that. Gosh, that would be sad. Yeah.

Reese Brown (01:12:10.71)

Yeah. Well, and I love what you said that not only are you missing out, but people are missing out on you. The thing you said earlier was that going through the healing journey is what allowed you to be who you were created to be. regardless of people's worldview on, know, if you were created pre-

Shara Goswick (01:12:25.349)

Right.

Reese Brown (01:12:35.15)

pre-womb or if it was nature and nurture and that's how you were created, you were created from something and whoever that is, the wholeness of that is worthy of being expressed. And I do deeply believe like my one of the convictions I hold strongest about making meaning just in our lives, but also purpose is that we all have a duty to

show up wholly as ourselves to the world. And so not only is not walking the healing journey shortchanging yourself, but it's shortchanging the world, what the world deserves. And I'm like, I want everyone's holist self. So I second that, suppose, a very long-winded way to say, I agree. My final question.

Shara Goswick (01:13:16.387)

Yeah, I agree.

Shara Goswick (01:13:26.555)

We're good.

Reese Brown (01:13:33.848)

to hopefully put a little bow on our conversation is what is one word to describe how you're feeling right now?

Shara Goswick (01:13:40.613)

Thankful. I am thankful. I'm thankful for this opportunity, Reese. You're a beautiful young woman inside and out. And I am so excited that I got to meet you and connect with you.

Reese Brown (01:13:42.734)

Hmm.

Reese Brown (01:13:49.87)

Thank you.

Reese Brown (01:13:55.831)

Me as well. I am similarly feeling very thankful and I love that we start with gratitude and end with gratitude. Shara, thank you so much for being here.

Shara Goswick (01:14:01.38)

Yeah.

Shara Goswick (01:14:05.263)

Thank you.